As I write this I’m preparing for another wilderness adventure. I’ll be off the grid for one week, immersed in the desert of Death Valley with one of my teachers and four other women. Part of this journey will take me on a solo immersion, where I will be camping alone for three days. There are no camp grounds, no cell service, no other people, nothing but Mother Nature, Spirit, and Me. Sound a bit crazy? I know… it sounds kinda crazy to me too. But I’m doing it.
I may be brave, I may be crazy, I’m also scared. In fact, yesterday I cried in my husbands arms as I finally faced the what I was doing. I cried from heartache thinking about being completely separated from my family, and them from me. I cried from fear – fear of the journey, fear of the unknown, fear of all the struggle I might face. In this moment I heard myself say “what am I doing?!” And then I realized what I was doing, was growing.
The truth is, growing, healing, and transforming in any way hurts. It’s scary, it’s painful, it’s uncomfortable and kinda sucks. Think about a butterfly emerging from the cocoon, a mother giving birth, or beginning a new adventure…it’s all really uncomfortable, it hurts like hell, and its terrifying - it’s also the only way to get what we want. We have to face the struggle – we have to be willing to be in pain, to temporarily trade comfort, to be scared – because on the other side is new life. On the other side is the thing we’ve dreamed of. On the other end is strength, wisdom, grace, gratitude, and joy we would never know without the struggle.
After I finish writing this, I’ll continue my journey. In about an hour I’ll lose cell service and surrender to faith. Faith that this journey was put on my heart for a reason, faith that the transformation, the wisdom, the experience will be for my highest good – and for yours, as my mission is to serve you. And so it is.
Sometimes the fear won’t go away. So you’ll have to do it afraid.
In fear and faith,
Robin